Enter Label: Truffle hunting for hope on the first ledge of recovery

It’s like a Hare’s breadth. A narrow window of improvement. A morsel of recovery. It’s the first “ledge” as I like to call it. On this ledge, there is some mental space to evaluate the next steps. What is my process going to look like? Yes, something set this off for me, the vaccine, covid, but to heal, I know I will need to introduce multiple strategies, medical, therapeutic, breath work, building up autonomic resilience, exposure practices, etc., in order to get better.

One I’d like to share with you all is the concept of TMS, or Tension Myositis Syndrome. This is a mind body field of medicine focused on reframing the issue of pain (which is real!) as a mind body issue, wherein you focus, address, and heal your emotional state, not just the physical symptoms. By doing so, you heal both.

Originally pioneered by Dr. John Sarno, he believed it was repressed emotions (rage in particular) that causes most of the chronic ailments in society from severe back pain (even those requiring multiple surgeries), fibromyalgia, IBS, to migraines and tension headaches. Essentially anything that hurts but shows no structural damage on an MRI could apply. Even things like a bulging disc wouldn’t apply as only babies really have perfect spines, but not everyone feels back pain.

One theory is that the mind protects the person from feelings that they cannot handle, and the subconscious/autonomic system makes decision to divert those emotions into the body in the form of pain so the person does not need to face the issues. If you’ve ever thrown out your back before a big meeting or something, you probably had a brush with this experience. I’ll share more details on how this actually works within the autonomic system in a later post.

Needless to say it’s a controversial concept. Except to the people who have been cured using these methods. Or to those who choose to believe in them because all other avenues have come short. When I was first introduced to TMS by a physical therapist, I refused to see him again. I was angry. I was offended by the suggestion that the mind was involved somehow. But in the latter part of my journey last year, before I got COVID, I began to embrace it as it seemed to speed the healing process.

The Sarno mantel has been picked up by a number of prominent doctors who have built on that research, evolving beyond just the idea of repressed rage, and into other emotional states, personality traits (e.g., perfectionism, people pleasing), and other practices, that can lead to a chronic pain state. There is even application to Long Covid with studies showing that those in higher stressor environments were more likely to get it.

There are now a plethora of apps and podcasts, like Curable App, which helps people learn the science behind pain and how to overcome it. For some just understanding how pain is generated in the brain can heal them from symptoms! Those cases are definitely unicorns, but they exist. For the rest of us, we slog on.

According to ardent TMS loyalists, you are to stop all treatments while pursuing this course of action. I continue to try acupuncture, cranial sacral therapy and the like, not to mention options offered by neurologists. I am fortunate to have found a healer and friend in my Rolfer, Soken, who is also a coach, Buddhist, and philosopher extraordinaire. I get three birds with one stone in a session with him, often not only a physical release, but tears on the table, and a discussion on all aspects of life.

There’s also the importance of journaling. Expressive writing is key to many people’s healing journeys. Perhaps it’s not the sole cure but most people who heal incorporate it. It is suggested that the writing must be for at least 20 minutes as that is what makes the most proven difference to the mind, to get through the initial barrier of shit, regurgitated stories, to the heart of the matter. There are a number of techniques. For example, Nichole Sachs pioneered a method called JournalSpeak where you make a list of current stressors, past stressors, personality traits, which could all somehow be subconsciously contributing to pain. Dive into that list, 20 minutes at a time, day by day.

And then there is the slow, back to life effort, which is required to create new neural pathways of pleasure, and shifting attention away from the pain. With my daughter, I hope I can give her better moments, even if it’s just a little playtime in the morning and evening. That is the first, most supreme vitality through which I hope I can flourish. I have enormous help in this area and I’m supremely grateful. Both families, spouse and nanny have taken on a tremendous load in my recovery journey.

It’s a new month. July. Still a month wherein I mourn for the summer I felt I deserved. In some sense, still a month I pray ends. But the difference, I hope, is that there are seeds being put into the ground. Those should generate fruits in the future. Ever the truffle hunter of hope, I will be certain to share any tastiness I can find with you, my friends.

Man and dog truffle hunting in Tuscany